She died

There was this girl, 
Lovely and chirpy, 
As lively as a flower, 
Her existence was the reason for many to smile, 
They all loved her because she made everybody smile, 
She never expressed her fears, never did she show her tears, 

She'd laugh with them all and make them smile, solve their problems and take it all inside, 
but when alone, she'd cry when the satan inside her pinched her soul and made her weak, 
day by day, minute by minute she'd lose the charm her face once had, 
she was losing her smile, her strength, 
her courage had now taken a back seat, but never did she show. 


She was deeply in love with him but he wouldn't know, 
they'll be together always and even at odd times of the day, 
but the pain was getting accumulated and her saturation did reach, 
the bottle was now full, 
she knew it was her end but even now she won't show, 
she'll sing him whiskey lullaby's, and put him to sleep
& the last time she pulled a trigger against her head and there her body lay on the ground, covered in blood, covered in the pain she withheld. 

An eternal loss.

It all seems like yesterday that I'd come back from school and you'd fight with dada for getting me my favorite chocolate again, it seems like yesterday when you cried your heart out when dada left us, it seems like yesterday that life had moved on and you had accepted the eternal loss, you had been so strong, the strength and shoulder of our family. 


You had played a vital role in hitasha's and my upbringing, picking us up from the bus stop, handling us, making us our favorite dishes, taking care of each and everything we wanted, you were our hero. 


It was last summer, just like yesterday when you fell from the stairs and you could never walk all by yourself again, the pain you had been through, all the sufferings you had to go through, when they inserted needles and syringes, when they tested each and every part of your body, it stings me with pain, the tears that had fallen from the eyes who had shown us hope and given us faith, it was and will be just like it was yesterday when they washed you with holy water and wrapped you in white sheet and took you away, they said to a better place. 


I am happy that you don't have to bear any pain, no more. Just that I miss you and I can't stop but let these tears flow :(


Today when I see choti dadi in your place, the exact same bed, that very place, I am scared of losing her too, just the way I lost you. 
It sends shivers down my spine when I co-relate her and you, come back dadi, I do really miss you. :'( 

An abrupt ending, an accident :)

Kuch lamhe, kuch mulakaatein, 
kuch alfaaz, yeh ankahe baatein, 


Yeh tez dadhkane, 
yeh sansanahat,
yeh sharmana, 


Yu palkoon ko jhukana, 
Hasna, 
aur fir muskurana, 


Yeh pyaar se dur kahe,
 pyaar karna,
Uljhaano se dur, 
yeh sarsarati hue hawao se baatein karna, 


Kuch ehsaas, dil ke pass,
Kuch baatein, bematlab, 
Kuch jazbaat, pahleiyan.

That day :')

That day when I was quiet and lost in those dreams, I was trying to decipher those unknown feelings, this era of pain seemed never ending. 

When I talked to him after months, I realized how time flew and how things had changed. The proximity of our relationship, the ground rules that we laid, the innocent bond that we shared had now passed through this bridge of awkwardness and wary in his heart did lay, he accepted that the tracks were now different, and that we can never be the same, I read the old emails again and again. I was in this numb state where my senses had given up, no feeling no emotion just the noise of the sinking heart beats that were recorded on the graph in the hospital where they admitted me that night for internal bleeding, they say. 


They declared that I don't have much time left, he came and held my hand, tight and careful, whispered in my ears the story of his love who was now fighting with death, in those last breaths she smiled and bid goodbyes.

Mornings like this should come everyday :)

Well today's start was a little too weird still got me smiling, I guess mornings like this should come everyday.. 

When you sleep like a swine, 
When nothing bothers you and no thought breaks your sleep, 
When there is a smile on your face for reasons unknown, 
And nothing seems to catch your tone, 
What ever you hear appears like music to ears, 
When you see small little puppies and your glittering eyes attract them too,
When your simplicity gets appreciated, 
When your work is applauded, 
Nothing matters, nothing more than all of this.. 
When a friends sweet reminder makes you smile and holds you captive and tight, 
Thank god days like these still exists.. 
Well, I am living one such dream, 
Open eyes, I can see moon in daylight, 
Weird, unusual smile but I know I do look good, 
Happy, chirpy, sunlight makes your skin glow, 
The brightness, your sensuality lies in the eyes that you wear. 


With a tinge of craziness and experiments, 
I am sure life is so much better when I see this side of the coin..