Secrets

So, I was talking to a friend about secrets, and I realized something which never struck me before. A secret that we keep from the society, holding that secret is a secret too. First we try to protect something from everybody around us, we try to conceal or pretend to be unaware of the existence of the secret we keep. We try acting, hiding the emotions, every time somebody brings up that topic or something which might lead to it, we change the flow, we give the ongoing discussion a new direction.

Keeping secrets requires a lot of patience, it requires the art of holding things, guarding them in the walls of your heart, and letting nothing but your morals and sense of judgement restrict you from letting it go, from letting it slip at unwanted places.

Secrets, building a secret route to hide the secret, another secret in itself.

Some people build their life around secrets, while some die protecting theirs.  

Random Realization - 7

Pursue some path, however narrow and crooked, in which you can walk with love and reverence. 
Henry David Thoreau 


So, it was yet another evening and I was roaming outside with a friend. It was unusually dark and the visibility was pretty low. We were walking and talking about how changes are the only thing which remain a constant while everything else changes, some people leave us, some we leave, some go with angels and some are accompanied by the demons. The conversation was turning from the soft and subtle realizations to the unadulterated truth. 

Just then I looked ahead and with ticks, the street lights had lightened up and the road which seemed to go nowhere now had a direction. 

A road with no passengers, a sad little deserted track was showing us this path which seemed distant yet the lights promised something, they promised a destination worth traveling for. 

Without any intention we kept walking and reached the end of this road, it was a dead end. My friend hurriedly concluded that life is a rat trap, it is a bait which we  fall in, but I was somehow sure that there has to be some reason why we came here, I tried to reach out to a conclusion but failed but since then I have always found answers to all my problems while walking alone on that road. 

Walking does teleport you to another world, a world where you think on your own, not affected by social judgments, acceptances & dejection, a world where it all comes down to what you want.  

It broke

Her heart was joined by threads, 
Sewn to make it work, temporarily, 
Warnings were made, a little push and it'll all come falling down,
Like a pack of stacked cards,
It'll crash and nothing would help then,
She tripped, on a stone,
Smashing her head on to it, real bad,
She saw him before the beating stopped,
The sea of blood came running down,
She couldn't hold it, not the fake smile anymore, 
She broke, it broke. 
Threads flew open one by one, 
The hopes came crashing down,
She fainted, pretending to be asleep,
The blood never stopped following,
She slept for pretty long, she is now forever gone. 

Rape: A social evil.

Rape is a social evil that has reached explosive proportions. It has ruined many lives and continues to do so at a frenetic pace. No one is immune, and age is no bar. From infants to senior citizens to corpses, rape has become a diabolic symbol of power in an iniquitous world. 

A rape occurs in India, every 54 minutes. 

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/3739958

It’s a really sad day for all of us, talking about the case of this girl who was gang raped.

Well, that’s how they address it, “the gang rape case” forgetting all about how she would be feeling, how her entire life has come down in just minutes, how her future is nothing but scarred and blurred because of a few men who couldn’t control their urge or frustration.

Talking about the safety of women, well I would doubt that any woman in Delhi would be feeling safe right now, seeing how the streets have become, it feels more like a society in which the word gentlemen has lost its real essence, as if they were never given/taught the values of ‘respecting the opposite sex’ or ‘family values’.

The values we have been boasting about, the culture that we say we are proud of has been losing its ‘charm’ for there still exist loopholes in the entire machinery. Be it the thinking/approach of people who still say that it might be the girl’s mistake, she must be shabbily dressed or would be wearing provocative clothes, I wonder why then do we claim that India is a developing country, not just in economics but its real sense too, why do we proudly say that the times have changed and we are living in the 21st century where equality and freedom of expression is awarded to each and every individual?

What about the westernization we say we have inhibited for good, do they teach us that we should probably rape somebody who according to us is not wearing proper clothes? What happened to ‘minding our own businesses?

This is not the first time that we are boiling in anger; remember Jessica Lal case, the Guwahati group molestation, the Mangalore pub attack?

For a few days there is anger, there is media coverage, everybody is down on streets protesting, our governments promise us that strict action would be taken and we having no other choices, believe them and go back home, go back to our normal lives, everything moves on, change being the only constant remains and we all forget what we were fighting for.

Every time we need a case for us to get our blood boiling, instead of dealing with it in the first go why do we wait for such heart breaking tales to take place?

Tales of young innocent girls who are awarded death punishment for their lives become nothing but a shame, where the society comes, cries, pities, sympathises and walks away while the guilty roam freely on the streets without any fear?

What would a mere fine do? Why not stricter punishments for violating the basic human requisites, the respect for one’s own body?

It’s saddening to see that our government has still not taken any action while each and every individual is out on the streets, raising their voices, in terms of protests and candle light marches.

A lot has to be done for the improvement of this city if not the world in entirety. We need to ensure basic equality to women affected by such heinous crimes, speedy trails, fast track courts, cooperating police who is well versed with basic morals of how to treat women instead of increasing their never ending pain, the society has to ensure that the government is doing what it is supposed to, instead of lingering around, there is work which has to be completed.

Not talking about an ideal state where there would be happiness everywhere but a state in which we will not be worried of being murdered/raped on the road and no action would be taken against those guilty?

Reading through the net I happen to read this and it caught my eye, for we are also looking for possible punishments if not Death Penalty or Castrating them, as the popular demand it may seems, considering we also belong to a community in which broken justice system where barely any survivors see justice served.:

http://stavvers.wordpress.com/2011/08/14/when-not-reporting-a-rape-seems-like-a-sensible-option/

In her fantastic book Cunt: A Declaration of Independence, Inga Muscio proposes a solution: Cuntlovin’ Public Retaliation:

The basic premise of C.P.R. is publicly humiliating rapists. Since rapists count on a woman’s shame and silence to keep them on the streets, it seems to me an undue amount of attention focused on rapists would seriously counter this assumption.

C.P.R. can be employed when a woman is sure of her attacker’s identity. Since most attacks are not perpetrated by strangers, this is a highly relevant factor.

There is safety and power in numbers.

A group of two hundred women walking into the place of employment of a known rapist would have an effect. If each of these women were in possession of a dozen rotting eggs which were deposited on the rapist’s person, the rapist might well come to the conclusion that he had committed a very unpopular act, one which was not tolerated by the community. If a rapist had to walk through a crowd of angry, stating, silent or quietly and deadly chanting women to get to his car in the grocery store parking lot, he might feel pretty uncomfortable.

This technique would require a vast degree of solidarity among women and allies. Were it to happen, though, it would feel a damn sight more like justice than the current shambolic system.

The risk to survivors is considerably lower in Muscio’s admirable proposition. Here, they do not risk further invasion with no justice served. They do not risk imprisonment for daring to report a rape to a morally bankrupt police force. They do not become passive pawns in a game of patriarchal power. It is justice for survivors, by survivors.

Muscio stresses non-violence, and I thoroughly agree. Violence is not a solution to violence. Showing a rapist that such behaviour is thoroughly intolerable, reminding him that his behaviour is thoroughly unacceptable, through a supportive network of the community–that is more like what justice looks like.

Were this to happen, rape culture would topple. For this to happen, we need to fight rape culture. Then, perhaps, we will see true justice.

Possibly there is more to read, the anger, the outrage, the possible solutions and much more.

A few links which I went through are:

http://stavvers.wordpress.com/2012/04/22/the-anatomy-of-rape-apologism/


http://www.firstpost.com/india/delhi-gangrape-nypd-and-london-might-offer-some-solutions-561803.html

http://ezinearticles.com/?Rape---Problems-and-Solutions&id=3739958

http://news.oneindia.in/2012/12/18/delhis-rape-shame-twitterati-express-anger-disgust-1116250.html

Hoping that something comes out of this, believing in “the best comes out only when we are exposed to the worst” not forgetting to ask “how many times do we need to get exposed to the worst before we come out with something which we expect to be the best”

-A girl who fears getting raped. 

A path less travelled.

After almost 8 months,  today I tried sketching. I tried to draw the emotions running through me, the emotions that couldn't be described by words. It strange for me, for I couldn't write but I am glad that I could draw them, like they were in my head. They lack perfection but I am happy with my interpretation. 

Shades of Darkness

Though this is simple but I like how shading has enhanced its beauty. 

Impressions 

Impressions, we leave a lot of impressions by the things we do. Some impressions are hard to forget for they get craved in our hearts while some leave marks in the head, making it impossible for them to leave. 

Leaves of Grass

Mr. Walt Whitman, gave me this name. His book, leaves of grass has moved me in a lot many ways. 

Into the Darkness

A lily, outlined by darkness. It is shining its way to glory, to hard to ignore its beauty. 

Two-faced

For when we meet someone, we never let our intentions surface. 

Skies of Lust

Confusions, dilemmas and disarrays, a lot is suffered under these skies of lust, which make us lose our head and run for our hearts. 

 A lot of books and blogs inspired me to draw these specific sketches for they hold an important place. 

A few old ones, no names, no interpretations. 

Kuch pal...

Aaj yeh gustakhiya, 
Kal ki kuch tanhayein, 
Kuch ankahe baatein, 
Aur yeh kuch suni sunaye kahaniyan, 
Yeh dil ka rona, 
Aur aankhon ka muskurana,
Yeh kashmakash mein zindagi jeena, 
Yeh pal do pal ki berukhi sehna,
Yeh har rukh pe thokar khana,
Zindagi ke haazaron rang dekhna,
Kabhi thamna toh kabhi bhag jana,
Himmat, sahas aur prernao ko jhinjhodna, 
Uss khoye hue ehsaas ki talash mein,
Kuch naye lamho ki paalki sajana. 
Yeh zindagi, ek kachi door, 
Yeh rishton ke badalte rang. 

A disarray of impressions..

I don't know what's been up lately?
I don't know how do you do?
I don't know if it’s the sun that's shining or if it’s the moon?
I don't know if the earth is spinning or it’s just me in my room?
I don't know if a lot has been done already or if there is a lot more to do?
I don’t know if it’s the emotional turmoil speaking or it’s the turmoil in my emotions letting lose?
I don’t know if it’s a bad hangover or if it’s the break they said I needed?

I sit idle for long hours thinking what to do, wondering if there is anything which can get me out of this phase,
I try to write to realize how miserably I am failing at it, 
I try to sketch, and see if I can make sense to any of it, 
I try to dance and feel the pain in my ankle growing worse, 
I take long walks, walking amongst these strangers, 
I look at them if they’d recognize me, any longer, 
This cornucopia, this profuseness, of the details, 
My microscopic vision can scoop, 
It’s all going haywire, 
No entailing, no detailing, no meanings what so ever,
It’s a "a disarray of impressions",
It’s a state you’d never what to be in. 

Happy Birthday Prerna Bang-a :p

Hello prettiness,

I generally write long messages about all the special people in my life, starting from how we met and how it all progressed but this time I don't want to go deep in the details, you know it all don't you?

We met, clicked, argued, discussed, debated, shared, cried, smiled, giggled, zoned out, hated, stopped talking, met & got back again.

I respect you for all the things you did & you do, for the amazing aura which you create when you are around, for being such a joyful yet simple person at heart, for all the fun & amazing moments we have spent together in Hyderabad, Chennai, Pondicherry & Delhi, for all the upcoming craziness, for all the splendid suns you have shown, you are a beautiful person and you I love.

Sorry for being mean and for jumping all around, for kicking and tickling and for the n number of things that I keep on repeating, you are truly adorable and I cant thank you enough for all what you have done till date, without taking away the credits ofcourse :p


I love you Bang-A.

Lalalalalalalalalala, Happy Birthday pretty ladki :* 

Happy Birthday Shrisha :*

Happy Birthday Shrishuu <3

It’s your Birthday today and trust me you have been one person who has been sweet enough to tolerate me and my random calls and the mood swings EVERY single day. 

I crib, I cry, I silently weep, I laugh, I go mad, I giggle, I bitch, I take advices, I shout, I go crazy, you listen and love me nonetheless. 

You have supported me, you have answered all my questions, you have scolded me for not taking care, you have given me advices which nobody has ever given because you love me a little too much, you have always been with me through all the ups and downs life has thrown at me. 

From singing ‘Hey Jude’ that night to the ‘so-not-tolerable Anu Malik’ songs, from bitching about Manan to pulling his legs together, from the conference calls to the video calls, form the Sherlock Holmes stories to the Big Bang Theory, from the ancient Greek mythology to the creepy Purvasha’s logic, we have covered all the random topics one could ever discuss about. 

To the marriage proposals, to the cake stories, to the point where you wanted me to marry a Doctor who could fix my troubles, I have always loved you and there are no second thoughts about that. 

It’s funny how it all started in Bangalore, that scary creepy night where we had met for the very first time and then never met/talked until the same time last year in Hyderabad and since then there has been hardly any day where we didn’t speak, or hardly any problem that we didn’t discuss. 

From all the guy/girl/college/life problems to all the nonsensical, usual gay talks, the comfort level that I share with you has always been so magical. 

Remember Chennai, where you were helping me and I was clicking pictures all the while?

Remember talking late in the night & not sleeping because we had to solve a fight?

Remember making plans for Fatehpur Sikri and the Bangalore Street shopping and then a trip to Ooty & Mysore?

Remember how I cried when the news came down to my ears?

Remember how we have stood by and passed all the tests of time & distance?

This friendship couldn’t have survived without your love & care, they way you have taken everything in the right stride, I know it’s difficult to handle me with all the crises I generally have, I know how difficult is to put a tape on my mouth & calm me down, I know if it weren’t you, I wouldn’t have been half as healthy/happy/positive/non-violent/non-abusive as I am now and it’s all because of you. 

I promise to be here forever, I promise to listen to all what you have to say, I promise to come to Bangalore atleast once a year & meet and chill and EAT with YOU, pakka se:p 


I love you Shrish and will always do. 
Thank you for everything like everything you have done for me till date and hope that you’ll have a blast there, I miss you :(