Yaadein...

Mein tujhe bhul jana chati hu,
Tere diye har gum ke saath tere yaadon ko dafnana chati hu,
Tere saath bitaye hue har uss pal mein,
Fir dubara dub jana chahti hu,
Iss tute hue dil ke armano ko ek baar fir pirona chahti hu,
Ha mein tujhe bhul jana chahte hu,
Tere yaadon ke uss bhavr ki gehraye se mein aaj nikal jana chahte hu,

Tere diye hue sapno ko bhul kar mein aagey bad jana chahti hu,
Ha mein iss sabh se dur jana chati hu,
Ha mein tujhe bhul jana chate hu,
Tere saath bitaye hue har uss pal, us lamhe, uss yaad ko mein apne se dur kar dena chate hu,
Ha mein tujhe bhul jana chahti hu

F.R.I.E.N.D.S!

It was a normal day, I was just happily moving around. A bright sunny day on a wintery note, I was liking the sun. 

Break, I was worried about all what was happening & how life was moving on. The politics in college and the work pressure which was buliding. The tension was seeping in & that's when the 'happily moving around turned to moving around with chains heavier than my body weight'. 

While all of this was going on, new tensions were added & I was crying and questioning my credibiality, my competence. 

I was cribbing about it all, when a few friends boosted my morals and helped me survive this annoying phase of life. 

They taught me that people who hurt you will have their ass's kicked, I learnt that being sad wont take me anywhere and that when I have friends like these my life has a 1000 more reasons to smile and feel blessed.  

Yes, they make fun of me, take my case but now I know whom I should turn to when my life is on a all time low mode. 

They made me realize my worth & told me that tough times shall pass & I am going to make it through the top. 

This note is just a feeling, feelings which I have kept inside from such a long time. 

Thank you guys for all what you people have done for me. 

I love you. 

I love you all :)

Some old feelings being re-lived

I say I'm hurt,
but no one ask why.

They see me crying,
but they just pass by.
 I don't understand why your love makes me feel this way,

Because when I hear your voice,
I feel weak and walk away.

You call my name,
and I slowly retreat
you walk towards me,
and my heart starts to beat,
faster and faster,
with every step you take,
my pain grows larger.
because I know things will never be the same ever again. 

:)

Dil se ek awaz nikle,

honthon pe woh aa pahuchii,

pucha iss dil ne dhadkan se ,

kya hai iss berukhi ka karan?

Mere hoonth sil gaye ,

Aankein num hone lagi,

Yaad tumhare jo aaye ,

Mein yaadon ke karawan mein khone lagi,

Yaad tumhari mere dil ko rulane lagi ,

Aankhein fir aaj mere kyu sagar barsane lagi?

Pucha mene khuda se

Phir kyu aaj yaad aaye tum?

Samjh mein na aaya kuch mere,

Chup hoke mein fir se aaj rone lagi ,

Dil se ek aawaz nikle

Hoonthon pe who aa pahunchii

Yaad tumhari jo aaye aankhien phirse aaj sagar barsane lagi. 

Kuch likhna chahte hun sochte hun kya likhun?

                    

Phoolon ke who mehkte khusbhooo

Barish ka who bhiga pani

Aur hawa mein jot hi rawani

Kya uss mausam ka khumar likhu?

Kuch likhna chate hun sochte hun  kya likhu

Yaad  tumhari aate hai

Raat-raat bhar rulati hai

Sone se pehle he aankhein num ho jaate hai

Kya  iss ehsaas ke jazbaat likhu?

Kuch likhna chahte huin sochte hun kya likhu

Pal pal hasate thae tum

Aaj unhe paalo ka intezaar hai,

Pata tha tumhe tanhaai se dar lagte hai mujhe

Phir kyu raaste mein he akela chod gaye?

Kya iss pal ke doobte farmaish likhu?

Kuch likhna chathe hu sochte hun kya likhu

Relationship's

These are the ships which give you a ride of possibly every emotion, happiness, sadness, frustration, anger, depression, love, hatred.

I have been one of those lucky people who have fallen in love and fallen out of it as well. I have learnt so much from each and every person who came in my life. I learnt the art of not being bothered from some, the art of hiding beneath a mask, loving unconditionally, loving just to gain some advantage and possibly so much more.

So happy that I never put all of it into practice, so happy that they left.

Some people say love ruins everything; it ruins the friendship that you once shared with that person. I agree with the latter. Love in itself is a very strong expression.

Love what do you mean by it? I hear random people saying “I love you” and I laugh.

It just makes me feel weird how easily people use this word without knowing what it means.

Love according to me is something which cannot be described; it’s deeper and way too intense than what it appears to be.

It’s something which is natural and never comes out as an obligation, it’s simple and pure.

It’s not demanding in nature, its rather understanding.

It can give your heart aches and breaks, but will make sure you get the best time of your life when you have someone to love & someone who loves you in return.

It’s a feeling when everything else seems to be perfect, when small small things don’t really bother you, when you can see rainbows in the darkest nights. When you can feel the warmth of sunlight on a rainy day, your world seems to be complete with just one person’s presence. Everything falls in the right places. All the gaps now vanish.

You smile more, you worry less.

You see that person everywhere, you see him when you sleep, you see him when you open your eyes, and you can feel his breath on your neck, you imagine yourself dancing in his arms, holding hands with him when things are rough.

He is what you want and he is what you need.

Remember once all your eyes could see were your parents and now it’s just him. Isn’t this unfair?

A stranger caught so much of your attention that you forgot the ones who stood by you all these years. And even when he broke up with you and you go back to your parents, they accept you.

That’s love.

The truest form of love.

A story untold

6 months back I met this stranger who became a close friend. The friendship that we shared was rather amusing; the trust that developed in such a short span was something which was new to me. The confessions of this cherish able friendship were from both the sides…

Time was passing quickly and we were getting closer to each other, both of us knew that we had no future but nothing came in-between our friendship and we kept on moving.

We never planned things; all what happened between us was a result of affection & the sense of attraction that we both shared. I was happy after a long time that I had somebody to call my own, somebody whom I trusted & somebody who’d always be standing by my side… I guess I had started falling for him, or maybe not, I never really gave it a thought because his presence was very special to me.

But destiny is a bitch, the person interpreted me in a way which led to misunderstandings and the bond which was unbreakable started shaking, there were knots now in the friendship that once bloomed like the flowers in the spring.

Well this wasn’t a thing which I was not used to, it happened all the time… the person I’d love had to leave me in one way or the other, either it had to be the loss of friendship or it had to be the death of this feeling which was once a thought which kept me going, to be with him all my life.

Yet again I reach to the same conclusion; one comes alone & has to leave alone. There can be nobody who’d not break your heart while you all you can do in return is smile….

(I still have to decipher did I just consider him as a friend or I did really fell in love with him?)

This was NSS, Hansraj college.

It was out of complete coincidence that I could make it to Padaku that day, with a random plan of meeting a friend and then an extension got me into that room. Lots of kids and, their sweet smiles. Those innocent eyes had caught my heart; I felt I was one of them. The purity of their souls was clearly visible on their faces. They had a vision in their eyes, some came here to study and some just wanted to play. Padaku was an initiative by a few students in 2008 which was pretty much successful, atleast after seeing 50 students in that room; one would surely appreciate the minds behind this idea. I was pretty much happy and excited because it was after a long time I was going to teach kids who really wanted to study even after such disturbing backgrounds, it was not just an opportunity but an experience of its own kind.

When those kids smiled, shook hands with me and said that they’d be happy to see me again, I felt that I had a reason to smile, to live this life. Those kids taught me many lessons, lessons which will definitely make me smile in those times of troubles.

As a saying goes : “The soul is healed by being with children”, it was true for me because of NSS at Hansraj College.